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Our Journeys

Our Journeys take many shapes but at the end of them all change has occurred to the people on it. You are not exactly who you were at the start even if you don’t see any change yourself. It was early on in the book the overstory where on page twenty eight I read “you can’t come back to something that is gone.” The chord it struck when I read it from the list was deep inside myself.

While it is true for myself that my memories the farther I go back there vividness for the most part is diminished overall there are some things I think about that are the exception to the rule. It is these memories that changed me even if in the moment what was going on seemed to be nothing special. Hindsight can be weird like that. These two interconnected events are one of those memories I have though the order of them is unclear in my mind. They have blended together to the point the length of time between them is meaningless.

While I was still in elementary school I would always look forward to the weekend to come while I lived day to day. My parents were not together for as long as I could recall . It happened before my fourth birthday but since i remember nothing before that day since that day I’m not sure the exact date.

As a result this was when I mostly spent time with my dad with a few exceptions. The events that lead up to this weekend are fuzzy no matter how hard I try. Chances are during one of those days I had mac and cheese at one point given it was a staple for me but it’s not what was of import in this case. This day sometime between the first and third grade was truthfully the first time I was introduced to a huge part of my life that at the time was just fun in my view. It was the day I played video games with my dad for the first time on a PlayStation two. Small these may sound but the impact i am only now seeing. If I should trust my own memories looking back it started in a game stop next to rite aid which went over my head into the sky but not as tall as the godchucks that were still there. At least that’s where we got the system that day since it was really the only option at the time other than a second game stop. That’s where a copy of sonic heroes was found along with some other titles for the system with the vivid colors of reds yellow and blue pooping out at you from the cover on the same carpet floor with that grimy pattern that doesn’t look like they’ve changed in ten years. That part might have taken place that same day or the saturday from the last weekend I was there. It for sure was the one with the display consoles by the door that would change periodically from Kirby games to stuff that did not interest me in the slightest. Like they still do somewhere inside are shelf’s just for used games and that’s where I found it. That or it was my dad. There was probably small talk with the cashier which always seems to happen when you go to a store but what it involved I don’t know. When it comes time to play with the video games when the mess of black cords ,two controllers and a black box the size of a book was set up my memories are vastly clearer. In the room by the upstairs bathroom next to the linen closet was the quietest room in the house and that’s where it was set up. The room had only one window that overlooked the backyard which at the time was in a decent shape with several green pines at least ten feet tall towering over my four foot body. An old fuzzy gray like static on a television screen couch with a blue blanket draped over it and a black box tv with a VCR player on top of a wooden stand was where it was shoved up into the white yellow and red ports. On the floor based on photos I still have there was on the floor a black plush blanket covering the floor presumably since the cords didn’t have the largest reach and my arms were short so I could actually use it. Overtime we beat that game as well as ape escape two where you caught apes in various locations,this one spongebob game where on the cover they wore an green army hat thrown over there head haphazardly which has heavily stylized and soulcalibur two a fighting game with a plot I never cared to know from my own relocation. I had for sure seen video game consoles in the past. There was a PlayStation one at my moms house at one point when I was four since I have a memory of finding a playstation one game on the street and was able to boot it up but this was different than that. Unlike when I was four I was captivated. Sure the visuals aren’t much even for the time frame but it was all good fun. It was something we both enjoyed doing and it was through teamwork we finished most of those games with an end in sight. It was always a great joy even if I don’t remember voceving that at such a young age.

It is through the experiences we have the paths we take that we grow into ourselves.We are not the same as we once where and that is okay.Change is a part of life even if it’s hard sometimes.